Laramie: The Settling of Saturn

Home Town. The center of the universe. Every destination from this place plots a sun-burst pattern on the map of the world, and it is the center. This dot. Strangely, it doesn't mean a thing to those you encounter outside, but it's the point from whence you come, and the place to where you will some day return. It informs who you are. You know it better than any place, and it knows you. Once one leaves this place, can one return? Are the changes that occur post-childhood too much, too painful to confront? Does it welcome you back with open arms and give you the same kind of comfort it once did?

There's an elderly gentleman - Fred - with whom Jared and I have shared a few Altitude happy hour beers within recent months. Fred hails from a town of 700 somewhere back East. New Hampshire maybe? At the time he was growing up, the population was more in the range of 300. The community, which is in close proximity to a major metropolitan center, has never ballooned. It hasn't been spoiled by suburbia, he claims. Fred explained to us that the town keeps the numbers low by only allowing one new building permit to be granted each year. Fred moved to Laramie long ago to develop a cattle vaccine. Though I do not remember exactly the number of years Fred spent in Laramie, it seemed to be around 30.

Fred will soon return to his home town of 700. He's sad to leave Laramie, and it was obvious from his demeanor that he was nervous about his homecoming, but is being pulled back by family, and probably by age. His son was to come out and help him pack up his 30 years and drive it back. After listening to Fred's story, I started to consider how few people share his experience of growing up in this tiny town. How will it feel for him to return, possibly to the same house in which his family still lives? The trees will have grown. The barber shop will have become a nail salon. It will have changed, but probably not all that much. But how about Fred? I suppose I don't know him well enough to say.

At the same time Fred returns to his home town, I've returned to mine. I can no longer answer the question of how long we'll stay in Laramie. I don't know: years? Wow. Years! That would have completely freaked me out to think about before this point. Especially last December upon re-entry after our European tour. I may have cried. But one night it just hit me: I have never left Laramie not to return home to it. As much as I've fought it, Laramie is, and always has been my definition of home. Why didn't I see it before? I think what it took for me was being put back for here for a while with a chance to leave and to really have to make the conscious choice to stay. It likely wouldn't be such a happy ending we had been forced to stay by unforeseen circumstances. But a real job for Jared (and I suppose mine could be considered "real" as well), and now a house as well... It's two blocks from the house I grew up in until I was 5. It's all happening. In Laramie.

Who thought this would happen? Jared's mom.

It was long ago when she made that prediction. How does she do it? It has happened on several occasions that she has, months, years before an event said out loud what was to occur and it has happened. Amazing.

So, the question is: how does it feel to sell out? Is that what we're doing? Have we abandoned all of our ideals? Have we left our life style of international living behind? Hey, at this point I am utterly convinced of this Saturn Returns theory. It is a time of growth, of new identities, a test of character. We're starting to hone in on goals here. This is the "time of clearing our old psychological refuse" (http://www.aquariuspapers.com/astrology/2005/10/the_saturn_retu.html) Sounds kind of gross - psychological refuse. Let's just call it "change," shall we?

And you know what? Thought at times is unnerving, it feels great. We're going to have a tree house, folks. After we deal with the not so pleasant tasks of repairing the side walk and signing the mounds of papers, we're going to move in to our own house. And Jared's going to be a great teacher, and I'm going to... well, I'll figure that part out. I have time now. SO, look for a killer BBQ/house warming invite for some time in the month of August.

I hope Fred will have a celebration of similar magnitude in his home town. We wish him well.

(Steph)