i'm boycotting kissing.

it turns out that in england -- and most of europe, i am told -- kissing good-bye is a common practice. i find this very charming, of course, and in principle, i'm a big fan of it. it's just that, well ... i'm not very good at it. so i'm boycotting kissing.

for such a seemingly simple act, there's an awful lot that can go wrong; and i've made every gaffe possible: the miss, the kiss, the non-participation, the overzealous participation. i'm lost.

is it one, is it two? start left, finish right? what if i'm unshaven? is it an intentional miss? a peck or a kiss?

next time the good-byes are exchanged, i'm heading for the toilet.

jared.